What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why is digital marketing important?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why is every human messed up in some way?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why does my mom never wear underwear?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why do liberals think same-sex marriage is alright? The Bible makes it very clear that it's not alright to be gay, why can't liberals understand that?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How do I rat my boss out for serial cheating on his wife?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

TEXT:

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why don't younger men like older women?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do men like low maintenance women?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Will Colapinto replace Doohan as second driver at Alpine Team during the 2025 season or is just a rumour of Argentine press?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What’s a mistake most guys make when trying to get a girlfriend?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!